we have pet lesbian snakes
she woke up with a sticky ear
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize