ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
