Need sex. Gaining weight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize