And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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