Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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