Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
