That's intense
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
