Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
