last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
