Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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