I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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