Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
