This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
