Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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