yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
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she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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