Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize