I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
