There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
one might say we're banned from that church
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
