How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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