Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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