your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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