I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Randomize
