i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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