We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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