She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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