Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
