She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
