Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize