remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize