would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
