lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Farmville is her only friend.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
ok first of all what the fuck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
