thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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