i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize