I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
