i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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