I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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