Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize