I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
