the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
