she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
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Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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