she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
