goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
