Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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