Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize