Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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