You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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