I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
