My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
