Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
