You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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