...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
