i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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