i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
