We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This house was built for laser tag.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
