she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
