i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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