Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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