Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
