you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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