You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
