Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
