just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
