You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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