his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your cock deserves a montage
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
