It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
