it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
